When we don't want to!

Sometimes in life we have to do things that we don't want to. We don't feel like it, we're tired of it, we want to be like "that person" instead. And if we are not careful we can talk ourselves into a really bad attitude telling ourselves that "I deserve better," "I can quit and it will be fine," or "I can compromise and treat someone else badly because I have paid my dues and I am tired"

IT IS ALL LIES!

We have two choices when life gives us things we don't want to do:

1. Compromise and say all those lies from the devil to ourselves over and over till we believe them.

OR

2. Choose Joy - by rejecting those thoughts, tell the evil to "take a hike" and embrace the JOY that the Lord has for us.

Life is not easy and we often have to do things we don't want to. But if we look to our Creator for direction and accept the never ending joy that He has for us - it won't seem so bad. The joy that comes from above is OUR JOY - freely given to us and no one can take it from us, not even the devil. He can't steal it unless we let him. We decide who we will be each day: Bitter, angry, compromised and defeated by life's challenges - or filled with the joy from above, choosing to do what we know we should, even though we don't want to - knowing that the Lord will carry us and the result of our choice will lead us to a more rich life.

I choose to hold on to the JOY today, and to ignore the lies while trusting God.

Weekend!

We had a nice weekend. I got to sleep in on Saturday, then headed out for some time alone. Started with coffee and a walk through the U district. Ended up at the outdoor market and had a great time going from booth to booth picking out some farm fresh veggies, fruit and fresh baked bread. Great people watching too!! One good thing about a big city.

We headed to the grocery store to stock the fridge and planned some yummy meals for the week ahead. We went out to dinner and stopped by Target on the way home to pick up a few things we forgot/apartment didn't have. It was a 2 story Target in a high-rise shopping center with an 8 level parking garage.... oh the big city!!

Nice morning of church for me, laundry and getting stuff done. Ended today with a great BBQ dinner and a walk to Trader Joe's, ice cream for Mark and some SUPER yummy cookies for me. We are rested up and ready for another week of appointments and so excited to see the boys in only 4 short days.

Check out the thoughts below that I just posted too.....

Thoughts on Being Financially Prepared

Dealing with the emotional stress of your spouse having a life threatening illness is hard enough without having to deal with financial stress as well. Unfortunately in this day and age they come hand in hand. Even with great insurance, savings, good financial planning and budgeting skills it is still stressful. It costs a lot of money if you get sick - and the money has to come from somewhere.
In April of this year when my husband was diagnosed with Leukemia I was worried. Worried for his health of course, but worried about what we would do to replace his income. Worried about how to pay our mortgage and worried about how I would care for him and our 2 small children and try to keep my part-time job for some flow of income. We had an emergency fund ($1,000 set aside that you never touch). That was a great help at first, at least I knew I was covered for a little while. If you don't have one. GET ONE. Work hard and save the money as fast as you can and then forget about it. Leave it in a savings account and use it only for real emergencies. It will give you great peace of mind when the emergency you never thought you'd face, shows up. We also had a 3 to 6 month fund. This is a fund that can be defined differently for different people. We set ours up as 3 months of my husbands income. That way if one of us had to stop working or lost our job we would be ok for a while. Make plans to start a fund like this if you don't have one. You will be SO glad you did.

Even with these two funds set up - the money went so fast. The bills don't stop, mortgage has to be paid and when my husband was laid off due to being hospitalized we had to start taking over the payments on our health insurance premiums. They are SO expensive. They are a large ticket item and would be challenging for the best budget makers to work in. Without the cushion of these funds I would have been in the red very fast. I had to deal with the mounds of paperwork that were waiting for me each day: insurance, disability, doctors, home care, medications, bills, bills and more bills. I had a sick husband, bills stacking up and money running out - and I had started off pretty financially PREPARED. Ask yourself: "if this were to happen to me today where would I be, what would happen to my family?" If you are honest and the answer scares you - start saving now and don't stop until you have the money in the accounts.

I believe in God and His provision. I have been daily praying for the money we were short to somehow show up. I was willing to work for it, to take on extra projects in my graphic design business but with so little extra time that wasn't working well. I had faith that the money would come - and it has! Each month, every month, the right amount of money has come in. Just enough for us to get by.

We are facing the challenge of a bone marrow transplant in the coming weeks as my husbands only chance at a cure. It is super expensive, more than anyone could plan and save for. A fundraising effort was started on August 12th. We asked 320 families/individuals to look at their monthly budget and for 4 months find $25 they could due without and donate to our transplant bills. Over 100 generous people donated -  and we not only reached our goal of $32,000 but passed it (by Tuesday the 21st) and some pledges are still coming in. My husband and I are committed to "pay it forward" when this is all over. When he is fully healed and our lives get back to "normal" we will find it in our monthly budget to give to others in like situations and repay the kindness that has been given to us. This is what it means to be part of a community and of a family of God. Give of what you have to others. Time, money and kindness. We will forever be thankful for those who have given, our hearts are overflowing with joy and gratitude. I don't think most couples in our situation can say that. Praise God for the perspective He gives.

Don't find yourself without a plan when an emergency hits your family. Save up extra money, trust in God and have faith.

Settled In

We have officially settled in. On Thursday morning we moved into our permanent apartment (home for the next 4+ months). It is a pretty nice apartment with a great rooftop patio and view. It is a great place to stay in this busy city and will be just right once the boys join us in 6-8 weeks.

Our view from our permanent apartment. Fun to watch the sailboats and sea planes.

Great news today - still NO signs of Leukemia in Mark's bone marrow. Praise God! It is great to know that there is no new growth and that all that Chemo was worth it. Since Tuesday we have been doing all kinds of tests and appointments with different doctors. Everything from Dentist, physical therapy and CT scans to a spinal tap and a bone marrow biopsy. Mark is doing great - but we are both glad for two days off. No more appointments until Monday. Time to go grocery shopping - need to stock the fridge - and make some real food. I plan to explore the University District a little on Saturday as well.

Next week is full of appointments as well. The British donor center has delayed the transplant by one week (no worries, this happens) .... so after our Thursday tests next week we should be able to get back to Spokane and see the boys for a nice long weekend plus a couple days - and catch the first day of "real" school for Elijah. I am super excited.

Thanks for all your prayers. Continue to pray for my Boys to go-with-the-flow and have joy each day. Pray for Mark's energy level and over all health. Pray for the Holy Spirit to continue to be our strength. This week has been especially tough. Lots of change and lots to take in. I am missing my babies, friends and my home. I long for the day when our life feels "normal" again. For now it is "chin-up" and move forward each day remembering who is really in charge and who supplies all the joy we need, each day.

GOAL REACHED & Getting Settled

The view from our first apartment. Different from our trees we are used to but pretty all the same.

Sorry for the lack of updates the last few days.... We have been busy seeing family in Richland and then making our way to Seattle. On Sunday we got settled into our temporary housing apartment. This morning we got GREAT news: we can move into our permanent apartment on Thursday. The current tenant is headed home, yay for him, and yay, we get to move in.

It was a day of appointments today for Mark. We are tired but feel good about all we talked about today. Ready for the next two week schedule of appointments and tests. An adventure for sure!

Update on fundraising.... a grand total of $33,501.00 has come in so far, with more that has been pledged. God is SO good. We have reached our stage one goal. There may be more fundraising requests in the next few weeks as the numbers we have been given are only estimates. Once the Transplant is underway we will know more and will keep you all posted. 

We can't thank everyone enough for ALL the generosity. Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude. THANK YOU!!!!

Need Prayer!

Please pray for current tenant of the Seattle apartment. He was unable to move out this week as scheduled. He has a test at the first of the week - lets pray his "numbers" are up and he gets to go home. Then as soon as the apartment is cleaned we'll get to move in. I'll keep you posted.

We will be staying in "temporary housing" as planned. (Just a few days longer than we expected)

Praise God! The donations keep coming in! Keep spreading the word and praying for a financial miracle! 

Generosity

We are SO overwhelmed with gratitude today. I can't hardly believe the generosity of those around us. Even more funds came in today... total is growing. Thank you and Praise be to God!

OVER 1/2 WAY

Mark and I feel so blessed! Witnessing this financial miracle is AWESOME!! In three days of fundraising - over $18,000 has come in! With even more pledged and pending. GOD IS GOOD!

Keep spreading the word and we'll get to our goal in no time! Thanks to all the donors. We don't know what we would do without you all.

Time to Trust

Got some news today from the financial folks in charge of Mark's transplant. My initial reaction was to worry and panic but I have calmed down and remembered that I love a God that created the world - a little financial issue is no big deal to Him. We are going to trust and have faith that the funds will come.

We have to change our fundraising goal to $32,000 rather than the expected $15,000 as originally posted. The cost of obtaining the stem cells Mark needs for the transplant from our British donor is quite a bit more expensive than if the donor was in the US. ($40,000 more expensive) If this wasn't shock enough - $20,600 is due on Tuesday the 21st, before our first appointment.

WE NEED HELP. If you have the means or feel lead to give please check out the DONATE page above and do what you can. We so appreciate it and will do our best to "pay it forward" in the future to others in need. I'll keep this chart updated so you can be a part of this great financial miracle. Thanks be to God for what I know He has already worked out.

It's Official!

We will be leaving for Seattle next weekend. We expect to be in Seattle for at least 4 months. The Boys will stay in Spokane for the first few weeks with my parents and then join us once we get settled and into a routine. We'll make sure and post updates as we know more.

The challenge of a bone marrow transplant and moving our family to Seattle is a little overwhelming, but we are trusting God and staying positive. The transplant is Mark's only chance at a cure. It is super expensive, more than anyone could plan and save for. We are faced with a deficit of at least $15,000 from what the insurance company won't cover of the transplant cost and the cost of living in Seattle for as long as it takes for Mark to recover.

Mark and I thought of how best to raise the funds. A Spaghetti Feed? Car Wash? Garage Sale? Silent/Live Auction? While those do raise funds, they cost too. They also take a lot of planning, time and coordination. All of which we are short on.

If we spread the load among many the load will seem light and the financial burden of this crisis will be lifted from our family. We are asking 150 families/individuals who know and love us, who are concerned and praying, to look at their monthly budget and find $25 each month for 4 months that they could afford to donate to our transplant bills. 150 families/individuals at a total of $100 each and we'll reach our goal of $15,000. Click on the DONATE tab above for info on ways to give.

Mark and I are committed to "pay it forward" when this is all over. When he is fully healed and our lives get back to "normal" we will find it in our monthly budget to give to others in the same situation and repay the kindness that has been given to us.

Donor Match!

We finally have a REAL update!

We are going to move forward with the British donor. They are a 9 out of 10 match. 10 out of 10 would have been better and they don't do transplants with 8 out of 10. We are glad to have a plan and ready to move forward. Not sure if we are ready to move quite so fast. They want Mark in Seattle for his first appointments by August 21st. We are still working on the schedule and looking into housing so I will be sure and update you all when we know for SURE what the schedule will be.

For now.... enjoy the below post as I talk about all of the amazing blessings we have experienced.

More soon.....

BLESSINGS!!!

Its a long post…. hang in there.

I have always been someone who believes in the Lord's power. He can move mountains. I knew it was true in my heart, I could remember times when He has proven it in my life, but even years of believing didn't prepare me for what He had in store or us this past 8 months. GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. If you have ever doubted that statement or think you will again. Copy and paste the following and save it somewhere. So you can go back to it and see "miracle" proof that God is good and loves us always. Even when the worst of this world comes to your front door, He loves us, provides for us and is there to hold us up when we can not stand on our own. Here are our Blessings:

1. We came upon an opportunity for Mark to change jobs back in November. We have always dreamed of working less than 40 hours a week and yet still affording the home we wanted to raise our children in and have enough income to give to the church and those in need. We had NO idea it would ever be possible for us. Mark got the offer to work 20 hours a week and still receive the benefits package of a full-time job. I was already working 20 hours a week as well - leaving one of us home with the boys each day. We felt a strong urge to take the job. Even though it was less money and a bit of a risk at this point in our lives, he took the job.

Soon after he started and I could begin to see how our new arrangement was working I felt so Blessed. I was thrilled with how our lives were turning out. Mark got to be home to "play on the floor" with the boys and I still got to work and make a difference outside the home. It was more then we had asked for. I also felt a little uneasy. As I expressed one night at our small group, I felt like the Holy Spirit was working on me and preparing my heart for something new. A new opportunity, something that this new life would allow me to handle better or better show Gods love to others. Little did I know what God was preparing for us.

If Mark had been at his old job when all this happened it would have thrown a HUGE wrench in many co-workers lives - as they "sold" what he designed. Without him there is no product. While his new company is a construction company and Mark makes their stuff look great. They can continue to do business without him, their stuff just doesn't look as polished. Having a job with only 20 hours a week required will also allow a much easier transition back when this is all over.

2. Mark's new work has great medical insurance, including disability insurance. There is no doubt in my mind that God was providing for us financially with the this insurance. With his old job we only had catastrophic medical insurance for Mark. He was the guy who never went to the doctor. Literally 3 times in the 10 years we've been married. We would have been in a BIG financial mess without this new medical insurance. If that isn't blessing enough, Mark had worked only a little over the amount of required hours for the disability insurance to be active when he was diagnosed. I know that even though Mark was feeling bad and technically had Leukemia weeks before we went to the emergency room God kept Mark well long enough for him to work all the hours he needed to. The disability insurance is one of the reasons we are making it financially.

3. My parents had been watching our kids 1 day a week at our house since Mark switched jobs. They are both fully retired, willing and able. They love their grand babies and wanted to continue being a part of their lives and watching them even with the job change and having to come up to our house instead of Mark bringing the boys out to their house once a week with his old job. This allowed them to become very comfortable at our house. Just in time for us to need them at our house for days on end to watch our boys and take care of things that would other wise just not have got done. Such a blessing.

4. My mom has a very painful condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia that affects the nerves of the face. It was becoming so painful last fall that she considered surgery to relieve the pain. She felt an overwhelming urge to get it all taken care of as soon as possible. So even though it was over the holidays and fouled up her "hostess" plans she went ahead with it. Little did she know that she would need to be in tip-top grandma shape, with plenty of pain free / patient moments for my boys this spring. God has good timing.

5. My Job has been SO understanding with my need for some schedule changes in order to take care of the kids and Mark in the hospital.

6. Both of our employers have been very generous with support and encouragement. Blood drives and Bone Marrow Donor registries.

7. Friends and family have been praying all over the country. Literally from coast to coast. Friends have donated funds, volunteered to help out, watch kids, bring meals, pray and visit. Encouragement, gifts, cards and blessings have been pouring in since this all started.

…… and now for the quick list….. there are so many blessing it is hard to name them all…

8. Karen now works outside the home so there is some income coming in

9. Stable past careers that we could build up the savings accounts and emergency funds

10. We were already done having kids - it would be quite the challenge now

11. Hospital close to home so Mark can see his family

12. Found the cancer just in time

13. Science and medicine advances that will save his life

14. A healthy, young body that is more than capable of fighting - with out diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, smoking or alcohol abuse.

15. The doctor came early for a bone marrow biopsy one morning and I was not yet to the hospital. They make Mark very nervous and uneasy. Without an abnormal nose bleed to delay the procedure I would not have made it in time. God takes care of the big and little things.

16. A computer was donated for me to use at the hospital and my work allows me to work remotely while Mark has been hospitalized for treatment. Especially during the initial 41 day stretch.

17. Friends and complete strangers rallying to give blood in Mark's name and getting on the bone marrow donor list.

18. That we found a bone marrow match out of 19 million people and that they are willing to donate to Mark.

19. God keeps providing the exact amount of money we need each month through generous donations from friends and family. Each month, every month. GOD IS GOOD.

There is more I am sure I am missing and I KNOW there will be more each week as we stay strong in the Lord through this adventure.

I know NOW that my full heart and feeling of something to come was God saying to Mark and I: "I have given you the desires of your heart, more then you ever thought you would have, so that you will know my love. There is something coming your way that will challenge you, strengthen you and bring you closer to me. I will weep with you and uphold you, I love you and will provide you a way through this." I don't think God gives someone cancer, it comes from living in a fallen world with evil all around us. Our bodies are no longer perfect as God intended. These things happen. But I do know that God works for the good of those who love Him and will never leave our side. Mark and I will stand tall each day that we are challenged by this, even if the Holy Spirit is the only one holding us up and we will, just like Job, declare: "blessed be the name of Lord."

No Real Update

Not a lot to update this week. Mark had another "good" week. Back to the hospital tomorrow. No news yet on the British donor. We'll hopefully find out those results this coming week. I'll be sure and post something when I know.

Pray for a quick, healthy week at the hospital for Mark. Pray for the boys to be happy and good for those watching them this week. Pray for strength and stamina for me.

Thanks for all the support. More Later.