Do you every find yourself knowing you are in Gods hand - trusting him daily and doing your best to bring Him glory - but at the same time asking "Lord can this be over already?" or at least "Can we go outside for recess yet?" or "Could I just have a bye this round?"
That's how I feel today!!
I want so badly to go back to normal life. You truly don't know how good you have it until you don't. Look at your loved ones tonight and appreciate where you are and what you have. Be thankful.
I want so badly for Mark to feel better. He is doing fine. All that he is experiencing is "normal" for a transplant patient. The doctors told us over and over what to expect. It is all coming now and it is hard. Harder than I thought it would be.
I want so badly to take part of this away from him. Can't we tag-team this one Lord? Each time in our marriage so far when things got challenging we could trade off. Take turns. Do it together. Take on the task equally. It's not fair this time. I can support and encourage but this time I can not take away the pain or the guarantee that it will get worse in the next week. I can't make this go away by cooking a good meal, taking the kids for a while, smiling and joking, cranking the tunes to dance around and be crazy, work late into the night and get it all done. The pain can't be removed by a hot shower, massage or getting him a big bowl of ice cream. Those are my "go-to's" the "sure-fire fixes" - they won't work now, not this time.
I want so badly for time to pass quickly. I want to fast forward to January when we are home and together as a family and Mark is feeling much better. Then we can start to get back to "real" life.
I am trying my best to support him, love him, listen to the Dr.'s and encourage him to do all he can to help his body. Please pray for strength and wisdom for me. To have the endurance to keep encouraging and to know how to comfort and cheer him on.
Mark is dealing with quite a bit of skin pain. From the radiation (kind of like a bad sun burn or rug burn) and a rash. He has really high fevers and still trouble with swallowing and digestion. All are common and not too alarming for the Dr.'s but NO fun at all for Mark. He is staying positive but it is a struggle. The Radiation and Chemo took his body so low that infections are starting and we have to wait for his transplanted cells to graft and start working to bring him back up. Pray for peace and endurance for Mark. For a supernatural wave of optimism. Pray for joy. Pray for rest.
Tomorrow is a new day - and new opportunity... Try and make the most of it - I know I will. Thanks for all your support.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
TRANSPLANT!!
Thursday, September 20, 2012
A Very FULL Week
Mark started three days of Radiation on Saturday. Gradually he got more and more tired, nauseous and worn out before being admitted to UWMC on Tuesday morning to start 2 LONG days of Chemo. Tuesday was long, Wednesday was longer. The Radiation + Chemo attacks all the cells in your body but the effects show up first and most severe in your entire digestive track. Starting with your mouth all the way to the end. It is tough stuff. Mark felt really sick, the worst yet. I think we have hit the bottom and there is nowhere to go but up. He has improved today.... lets pray his health and spirits continue to improve.
My heart has been full of sympathy and frustration. Sympathy for Mark as his body has been put though SO much. I can't image what it feels like - especially because he knows how long it is before he will feel normal again. Frustration because there is not a lot I can do but encourage him to power through. We need his body to be broken down. We need ALL the Leukemia cells to die, unfortunately the treatment damages so much more of him too. He is a tough guy - he'll make it though. I love him so much.
My heat has been full of sadness. Missing my boys so much. Wanting to be with them, helping them to deal with all this stress. Wanting the snuggles mommies need everyday.
My heart has been full of gratitude. For the nurses who take care of Mark. For the prayers of all of our friends and family. For those taking care of my babies at home. SO THANKFUL.
My heart has been full of awe. When I think of the gift our 44 year old donor from Great Brittan is giving, I am in awe. I am so very thankful for his generosity. He has been on my mind all week as I know his body is sore and aching (maybe even in pain) as he has been injected throughout these last 7 days with drugs to make is body produce extra stems cells for Mark. His week has been all re-arranged so that he can do each collection. He is willing to do all this to save Mark and he doesn't even know us. As tears run down my face while I type, I am thanking God for this man tonight. I don't think he realizes what he is really doing by donating - it is not just a donation for Mark - but for us all. Everyone reading this will be blessed by his gift. We will have Mark. The donation of his cells = Mark's health, Marks life. I will be forever grateful for his generosity. For his kindness. For his gift of life.
My heart is full of anticipation and praise. We expect the cells to arrive at UWMC for transplant around 9pm tomorrow evening. As best as I can estimate our donor will be giving his last batch of cells sometime around 3am our time (tonight) friday morning. Then the cells will fly to the US, making a couple stops before they reach Mark's room. If you think about it tonight before you go to sleep - pray for those cells. Pray that they are healthy, tough cells, that are ready to clean up Mark's entire blood system. Pray for their travel and THANK God for our donor. May he feel the Lords presence, peace and grace. Rejoice with me tonight that God has provided a way back to health for Mark through this man so far away. To God be the glory!
My heart is full of excitement. My parents and boys will join us from Spokane around dinner time tomorrow night. Can't wait to see them! We'll spend the weekend together and celebrate this milestone for daddy. I love my family!
May YOUR hearts be full of Joy tonight. Full of love from above. Full of gratitude for what the Lord has blessed you with. Rejoice - we serve an Awesome God!
My heart has been full of sympathy and frustration. Sympathy for Mark as his body has been put though SO much. I can't image what it feels like - especially because he knows how long it is before he will feel normal again. Frustration because there is not a lot I can do but encourage him to power through. We need his body to be broken down. We need ALL the Leukemia cells to die, unfortunately the treatment damages so much more of him too. He is a tough guy - he'll make it though. I love him so much.
My heat has been full of sadness. Missing my boys so much. Wanting to be with them, helping them to deal with all this stress. Wanting the snuggles mommies need everyday.
My heart has been full of gratitude. For the nurses who take care of Mark. For the prayers of all of our friends and family. For those taking care of my babies at home. SO THANKFUL.
My heart has been full of awe. When I think of the gift our 44 year old donor from Great Brittan is giving, I am in awe. I am so very thankful for his generosity. He has been on my mind all week as I know his body is sore and aching (maybe even in pain) as he has been injected throughout these last 7 days with drugs to make is body produce extra stems cells for Mark. His week has been all re-arranged so that he can do each collection. He is willing to do all this to save Mark and he doesn't even know us. As tears run down my face while I type, I am thanking God for this man tonight. I don't think he realizes what he is really doing by donating - it is not just a donation for Mark - but for us all. Everyone reading this will be blessed by his gift. We will have Mark. The donation of his cells = Mark's health, Marks life. I will be forever grateful for his generosity. For his kindness. For his gift of life.
My heart is full of anticipation and praise. We expect the cells to arrive at UWMC for transplant around 9pm tomorrow evening. As best as I can estimate our donor will be giving his last batch of cells sometime around 3am our time (tonight) friday morning. Then the cells will fly to the US, making a couple stops before they reach Mark's room. If you think about it tonight before you go to sleep - pray for those cells. Pray that they are healthy, tough cells, that are ready to clean up Mark's entire blood system. Pray for their travel and THANK God for our donor. May he feel the Lords presence, peace and grace. Rejoice with me tonight that God has provided a way back to health for Mark through this man so far away. To God be the glory!
My heart is full of excitement. My parents and boys will join us from Spokane around dinner time tomorrow night. Can't wait to see them! We'll spend the weekend together and celebrate this milestone for daddy. I love my family!
May YOUR hearts be full of Joy tonight. Full of love from above. Full of gratitude for what the Lord has blessed you with. Rejoice - we serve an Awesome God!
Friday, September 14, 2012
Another Week Down, Tough One Ahead
We just finished up another long week in Seattle. We got to use the clinics free pass to go up the Space Needle just before sunset on Wednesday night. It was beautiful. It was a wonderful date night and we got some really great pictures:
We also got a chance to go out to dinner with a high school youth group friend of mine - Aron Otremba and his wife (who live here in the Seattle area). It was a great night of yummy food, good company, interesting conversation and fun games + dessert.
Our week was also full of lots of appointments and learning about what we have coming up. Mark is doing really well. Super healthy except for Leukemia : ) All his test came back good - he is officially cleared for transplant. On Wednesday he got a new "line" put in his chest - he did it all with no anesthesia and did great. We picked up all kinds of medication today and got trained on in-home IVs so I will know how to administer that here at home. I think we are all ready for this new phase to start.
It is pretty intimidating - it won't be easy. Radiation starts tomorrow and ends on Monday afternoon. He will have two 30 minute sessions a day (Sat, Sun. & Mon.). Mark will be admitted to University of Washington Medical Center on Tuesday morning the 18th to begin two days of Chemo. He will "rest" on Thursday. Then the transplant will happen on Friday the 21st. It is a really simple process - exactly like getting a blood transfusion or anti-biotic through an IV. Sorta anti-climatic after all the months of preparation to get here. But it will be fairly quick and painless for Mark, which is good.
I promise to give an update by next Friday if not before but until then Please be PRAYING!!
For our minds and hearts to be strong, brave and calm.
Pray for our boys. Pray for us as we are missing our boys terribly. May they have peace through all of this.
For the Doctors involved to know exactly what they need too. May they have Gods eyes and His wisdom when figuring out just what Mark's body needs at all times.
Pray for each nights sleep - as it will get harder and harder me to clear my mind and rest each night. Mark should be pretty tired from all his body will be going through but pray for rest for him as well.
Pray for the linings of his mouth and throat - for his whole digestive system. This is the place he is most vulnerable in the next 10 days for pain and infection.
Pray for quick healing from the damage of the radiation and chemo.
Pray for the Donor so far away that his donation goes smoothly and that he will remain healthy and strong. Pray for God to bless him in and extraordanary way for his generosity. May he feel the love and peace of the Holy Spirit.
MOST OF ALL pray hard that Mark's body receives the donors stem cells well. That the donor cells go right to work, find their place and start to repair the damage in Mark's body quickly. Pray that they fully clean out any hiding Leukemia cells. PRAY FOR GRAFTING!!
Thank you all for your love and support. We could not do this alone!
We also got a chance to go out to dinner with a high school youth group friend of mine - Aron Otremba and his wife (who live here in the Seattle area). It was a great night of yummy food, good company, interesting conversation and fun games + dessert.
Our week was also full of lots of appointments and learning about what we have coming up. Mark is doing really well. Super healthy except for Leukemia : ) All his test came back good - he is officially cleared for transplant. On Wednesday he got a new "line" put in his chest - he did it all with no anesthesia and did great. We picked up all kinds of medication today and got trained on in-home IVs so I will know how to administer that here at home. I think we are all ready for this new phase to start.
It is pretty intimidating - it won't be easy. Radiation starts tomorrow and ends on Monday afternoon. He will have two 30 minute sessions a day (Sat, Sun. & Mon.). Mark will be admitted to University of Washington Medical Center on Tuesday morning the 18th to begin two days of Chemo. He will "rest" on Thursday. Then the transplant will happen on Friday the 21st. It is a really simple process - exactly like getting a blood transfusion or anti-biotic through an IV. Sorta anti-climatic after all the months of preparation to get here. But it will be fairly quick and painless for Mark, which is good.
I promise to give an update by next Friday if not before but until then Please be PRAYING!!
For our minds and hearts to be strong, brave and calm.
Pray for our boys. Pray for us as we are missing our boys terribly. May they have peace through all of this.
For the Doctors involved to know exactly what they need too. May they have Gods eyes and His wisdom when figuring out just what Mark's body needs at all times.
Pray for each nights sleep - as it will get harder and harder me to clear my mind and rest each night. Mark should be pretty tired from all his body will be going through but pray for rest for him as well.
Pray for the linings of his mouth and throat - for his whole digestive system. This is the place he is most vulnerable in the next 10 days for pain and infection.
Pray for quick healing from the damage of the radiation and chemo.
Pray for the Donor so far away that his donation goes smoothly and that he will remain healthy and strong. Pray for God to bless him in and extraordanary way for his generosity. May he feel the love and peace of the Holy Spirit.
MOST OF ALL pray hard that Mark's body receives the donors stem cells well. That the donor cells go right to work, find their place and start to repair the damage in Mark's body quickly. Pray that they fully clean out any hiding Leukemia cells. PRAY FOR GRAFTING!!
Thank you all for your love and support. We could not do this alone!
Friday, September 07, 2012
Labor Day and Time at Home
We just finished a week at home. It was wonderful. We got to be together as a family and do lots of fun things. Jeff came for a visit on Friday - picnic in park, visiting and BBQ. We joined our friends the Roths and Marquardts for a day of camping on Saturday. Lots of fun, swimming and hiking. Our friends Ryan and Lauren came for a visit Sunday and Monday. We had a great time. Tuesday was the first day a school for Elijah, Wednesday Noah met his teacher and we had a Family dinner with my family then ended the night with a campfire and s'mores. Mark and I came back to Seattle yesterday (Thursday). Today we had a full day of appointments and work. Now for a restful weekend before a BUSY next week.
Continue to pray for our family. For the boys as they adjust again to us being gone and for the new schedule of school and Grandma and Grandpa. Pray for Mark as he heads into a busy week of appointments and procedures to prep for transplant which ends with very intense Radiation followed with heavy Chemo at the start of the following week. He is feeling strong and ready but it is a big hurdle that we will both be glad to be over.
Enjoy the pictures from this last week:
Continue to pray for our family. For the boys as they adjust again to us being gone and for the new schedule of school and Grandma and Grandpa. Pray for Mark as he heads into a busy week of appointments and procedures to prep for transplant which ends with very intense Radiation followed with heavy Chemo at the start of the following week. He is feeling strong and ready but it is a big hurdle that we will both be glad to be over.
Enjoy the pictures from this last week:
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| Eat'in lunch while camping with Buddies |
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| Noah playing in the water. |
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| Hiking buddies - Gabe and Elijah |
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| Noah at Manito Park - beautiful gardens, beautiful day |
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| Picnic with Supermen! |
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| Elijah - 5 years old - First day of Kindergarten |
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| Noah - 3 years old - First day to preschool to meet his teacher |
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