SMILE

Mark is still dealing with skin GVHD but it does seem to be getting better. Pain from swelling feet have also been an issue this week. He is making it though. Dr.'s have started lowering the steroids he is on. It is a slow taper over the next few weeks. Mark can already tell a difference in mood and energy... they are a bitter-sweet drug. They give you energy and good vibes as well as doing good work in your body - but they also come with many side effects. We are now dealing with the "downer" effect of getting off of them. Hopefully this time as we taper we will not see any increased signs of GVHD act back up. We'll keep you posted. Insurance has still not approved the expensive blood/UVA light treatment I mentioned last week - we're just waiting to see.

Not gonna lie... I've had a hard week. It is so much mental and physical work to keep up with the roll of caregiver, wife, mom and designer all at the same time. Especially away from family and friends in this great big city! My understanding of selfishness is growing.... how it starts to brew, what fuels it, how the devil uses it in you to hurt the ones you love the most - BUT I'm also learning how to control it. Oh what a battle! I have always tried to work, serve and love others to honor Christ in my life - I didn't always get it right but I felt like I tried hard. The last few weeks I have really been challenged. I DON'T want to try hard any more.... I'm tired. I pouted for several days this week. The Lord has been working on my heart... I found new inspiration and umph by the end of the week! I am trying to smile, speak sweetly and use patience often. I'm not always happy about all I have to do... but I'm trying to focus on my actions bringing God glory - it seems to be working.

Tomorrow will be 50 days post-transplant!! (217 days since this all started) Makes me anxious to just be DONE already. I know this is a long journey... one that will not be over just because we are back in Spokane, but I'm really looking forward to home. I miss my family and friends. I miss my job, my house, my bed, our church family, small group............ it's a long list!
Soon enough... I keep telling myself - soon enough.

PLEASE KEEP PRAYING!
For Marks strength and weight to increase. For the transition off some of the meds. For HEALTH!!
For all the mental things he is going through... I know how hard all of this is for me and I'm not even the one with the Cancer... he is.

Thank the Lord tonight for all the little things. I don't know how many times I've longed for a "little thing" that I took for granted pre-cancer. We are all so BLESSED! Thank the source of your blessings big and small tonight.

Pray for the boys - for joy, rest, health and peace.

Pray for my attitude... that I will remember to SMILE each day. A real smile, fueled by Christ, despite our circumstances.

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Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you