One of Those Days

Do you every find yourself knowing you are in Gods hand - trusting him daily and doing your best to bring Him glory - but at the same time asking "Lord can this be over already?" or at least "Can we go outside for recess yet?" or "Could I just have a bye this round?" 

That's how I feel today!!

I want so badly to go back to normal life. You truly don't know how good you have it until you don't. Look at your loved ones tonight and appreciate where you are and what you have. Be thankful.

I want so badly for Mark to feel better. He is doing fine. All that he is experiencing is "normal" for a transplant patient. The doctors told us over and over what to expect. It is all coming now and it is hard. Harder than I thought it would be.

I want so badly to take part of this away from him. Can't we tag-team this one Lord? Each time in our marriage so far when things got challenging we could trade off. Take turns. Do it together. Take on the task equally. It's not fair this time. I can support and encourage but this time I can not take away the pain or the guarantee that it will get worse in the next week. I can't make this go away by cooking a good meal, taking the kids for a while, smiling and joking, cranking the tunes to dance around and be crazy, work late into the night and get it all done. The pain can't be removed by a hot shower, massage or getting him a big bowl of ice cream. Those are my "go-to's" the "sure-fire fixes" - they won't work now, not this time.

I want so badly for time to pass quickly. I want to fast forward to January when we are home and together as a family and Mark is feeling much better. Then we can start to get back to "real" life.

I am trying my best to support him, love him, listen to the Dr.'s and encourage him to do all he can to help his body. Please pray for strength and wisdom for me. To have the endurance to keep encouraging and to know how to comfort and cheer him on.

Mark is dealing with quite a bit of skin pain. From the radiation (kind of like a bad sun burn or rug burn) and a rash. He has really high fevers and still trouble with swallowing and digestion. All are common and not too alarming for the Dr.'s but NO fun at all for Mark.  He is staying positive but it is a struggle. The Radiation and Chemo took his body so low that infections are starting and we have to wait for his transplanted cells to graft and start working to bring him back up. Pray for peace and endurance for Mark. For a supernatural wave of optimism. Pray for joy. Pray for rest.

Tomorrow is a new day - and new opportunity... Try and make the most of it - I know I will. Thanks for all your support.